Hate Me Like You Do
by KurosawaCP
Summary: Kenny is the absolute scum of the planet when it comes to women, and when he's flipping through the newest issue of his favorite smut rag, the centerfold gives him the most painful boner; he has to know who this fucking chick is! Upon closer inspection of the page caption however, he learns that the beauty in the picture is..a trap? Who the Hell is Butters Stotch? AU.


**Title:** Hate Me Like You Do

**Fandom:** South Park

**Main pairing:** Bunny

**BETA:** Kuro

**Notes:** I might be trying out a different writing style here. Forgive me.

Warnings: AU. Rating subject to change. Slight adult themes.

_*Full summary*_

Kenny McCormick is the absolute scum of the planet when it comes to women. Porn magazines everywhere, dirty movies constantly on replay, and his attitude towards females being as lewd as possibly imagined. When he's flipping through the newest issue of his favorite smut rag, the centerfold gives him the most painful boner; he has to know who this fucking chick is! Upon closer inspection of the page caption however, he learns that the beauty in the picture is..a trap? Who the Hell is Butters Stotch? AU. Rating may change.

* * *

**_Chapter 1: Break Your Heart And Get Away With Murder _**

It was relatively _oppressive_ outside. Atleast that's what the irate engineer thought to himself as he dutifully leaned his body over and promptly pulled the blinds to the room closed. He ran his fingers through amber tresses, the blonde strands damp against his forehead due to the heat. This raised his aggravation only a pittance as the pads of his fingers on his other hand traced the rim of his mug, the cold coffee offering no solace at the moment. Azure oculars slid over to the door of his home-office for a moment, and with an almost crushed sigh; he hauled his ass up out of the pleather comfort of his swivel chair and made a move for it.

Kenny's bathroom wasn't the most professional places to do your business. A door-length poster of a scantily clad woman, a few pages ripped out of a magazine and slapped onto the walls with some tacks, and the all-growing library of _PlayBoy _that sat perched on a metal rack next to the toilet was alarming. Fuck, even his soap was shaped like areola. ( special offer only for long-time subscribers of _Barely Legal_.)

The male stripped off his shirt, pulling the plain-tee over his head and tossing it to the side. The shower was noisy, the steam hurriedly filling up the small space; as if it had a chance of possibly escaping. With a grunt that sounded more or less like a petulant whine, he dropped his pants. His former roommate had just recently moved out. But it was fine, the bitch was ungodly in the looks department anyway. Day in and day out, she'd gripe about his smell, and the way he claimed to have little to no time for hygiene. To mock her, Kenny had decided to make a game of it and refuse to shower for weeks. She retaliated by moving out and taking her subscription of Juggs with her. True to her word, the blonde smelled like sewage; but he had _won_.

**-v-**

Upon stepping out of his shower, the doorbell rang obnoxiously, and to say that it was grating to his ears would be an understatement. With a reticent growl, azure-colored oculars slid towards the watch abandoned on the bathroom counter. The digital numbers reading out that it was time for the mail carrier. His mood lightened only a minuscule amount.

Dark-colored towel around his waist, Kenny left to retrieve the small packages and letters. He moved a dripping fringe from his face; effectively tucking his hair behind his ear as narrowed eyes scanned over the parcels previously on the floor.

Notice of payment cancellation on _Juggs_. (Humorless cunt.)

Miscellaneous bills. (He tossed them in the side-drawer, a small snort escaping him before he could stop it.)

A special edition issue of _MayFair_.

With his thumbnail, Kenny had little to no trouble tearing the plastic concealing the book. Despite just having previously jerked it and showered minutes earlier, he could feel a familiar heat pooling in the pit of his stomach. For once, MayFair looked promising. He was almost ready to give up on that one all together.

With a raised eyebrow, he skipped straight to the centerfold. The smooth photo paper felt good on his fingers as he carefully drew back the poster to full-size; the process as complex and natural as anthesis.

The amber-haired male could feel his mouth going ridiculously dry as he studied the model. The lace apparel, the blue-colored irides that all but screamed '_do as you want with me, I _**crave **_it_', and the lewd positioning all crafted one decent picture that Kenny could very well see himself succumbing to quite a dozen fantasies with. With an interested tilt of his head, his eyes lingered on taut muscles that were barely noticeable on those soft-looking arms, prominent ribs that accentuated pale nipples instead of even a hint of breasts, and of course, a flat stomach and hipbones that were complimented by the crude, grey and cream-colored lingerie.

The bulge sitting inside the panties was the last thing that the engineer noticed. His eyebrows furrowed together at the temple, the corners of his lips curving downwards, and the water droplets slipping off of his nose and onto the edges of the paper lost on him as scarlet oculars searched out the page for a caption. He squinted to find one, the italic writing a hindrance to his vision, apparently.

_Butters Stotch_

_May Month of Males_

_2014, May 13_

_Denver, Colorado _

A beat passed.

"How...nasty.." Kenny pursed his lips, his instinct to turn his nose up at the picture overpowered as soon as he glanced back over at said picture once more. The small mouth of the other male in the picture had plush, but chapped lips, and the blonde-haired male vocally cursed himself as he abruptly found himself wanting to wet them with his own.

"Shit."

**-v-**

As a computer engineer, Kenny found it painfully easy to work computers. He could take one apart and put it back together, torrent the latest releases of basically anything and everything, and overall; work an internet browser. Something his childhood friend, Tweek, seemed to have a large quantity of trouble with.

With a quick Google of Stotch's name, he found copious amateur pictures of the vixen, his barely there Wikipedia page, and a schedule of appearances planned out for the next few months. White teeth flashed in the lighting of the LCD screen and with his credit card, Kenny felt devious as he purchased a ticket for tomorrow's Meet n' Greet in the South Park convention center. Luck and coincidence seemed to be on the amber-haired male's side. Maybe seeing the model in the flesh would convince his arousal that he wasn't _that _severely beautiful.

Albeit, his smirk dimmed slightly, and he looked toward the garbage bin in the corner of his bedroom that he had carelessly shoved the magazine in. It will, won't it? This was _surely _a thirst that he'd be able to quench.


End file.
